Saturday, April 20, 2013

6 months?

How has 6 months passed already? But at the same time, has it only been 6 months? Its weird how time changes after you have a baby. First the pics, then I'll ramble on about something...

He was less than thrilled about laying on the floor this month and having his picture taken.  As you can clearly tell. He had his 6 month check up and shots the day before so I can't blame the guy. Here's where he's at:
weight: 20lbs 3oz
height: 28 1/2"
98% percentile
Pediatrician said he is the size and has the alertness of a 9 month old

Currently, Hazen is the roll over monster version of his former self. Changing his diaper is officially a game, usually ending up with a cute chubby butt in the air. 9834 points Hazen, 12 points momma. I have to admit its kinda funny at work when I causally tell my boss "great, theres balls on my desk again." She has a good sense of humor. He is understanding food quite a bit more lately. Fruit is awesome, veggies are ok. He is right between 9 and 12 month clothing right now. That giant supply of onsies and what not that we got from our baby showers is juuuust about gone. I thought it would have lasted a bit longer. I can tell you that when I decided that big men were my type, I sure wasn't thinking about my future giant babies. Hazen has been working on his crazy vocal sounds and has discovered that he has wrists. He is constantly holding one hand up and twirling it around. Hates the giant scary bath tub, loves the kitchen sink.  So yeah, normal baby stuff.

As for me, the mom of a 6 month old baby boy who is always looking for whatever he doesn't have even if he doesn't know what that is. I'm totally happy. I met my goal of breast feeding for 6 months. Not that I've stopped. Before he was born and I didn't know what to expect, I set myself a goal of 6 months, now that I met that, I'm just waiting for teeth and I'll see how I feel about it after that.

I never would have thought that 4 straight hours of sleep could feel so restful.  Seeing 1:45 on the clock and closing your eyes and opening them again and its light in the room and 6:00 makes me want to give Hazen a high five every time.

Lately I've been thinking about his birth and that day we spent in the hospital. And about those final weeks being pregnant. It's such a unique brief moment, that you can never relive or experience again. You can always revisit a place or eat some wonderful food again, but becoming a first time mom is beyond incredible. Now I understand why all those people asked if it was my first then told me how amazing the first one is. As crazy as giving birth is, especially drug free, I have no bad feelings or negative thoughts about it. Sure, it was the most exhausting experience of my life...but I would relive it over again if I could. Yes, you can and I will have another baby, but I think the unknown is what makes the first such a journey.

I'm so thankful I challenged myself to have him natural, I think for the rest of my life I will have this funny feeling of pride that I did it. That I can push myself that far.  Not in a sense that I won the game and I need a pat on the back and a congratulations, but just for me. I guess its part of what shapes us as women. No matter how you have your babies, just the process that makes you stronger. Can you imagine an unplanned c-section? Now thats got to take some time to process. Looking back on it, I'm really lucky I didn't have to go down that road. The cord was around Hazen's neck, it just never tightened up enough to drop his heart rate and put him into serious danger. But boy oh boy was I lucky!

Ok, I told you I was going to ramble. To end all this giving birth blabber, one thing I would recommend to anyone about to become a mommy for the first time or the sixth. Have someone photograph the experience. Not down in the nitty gritty finally, but the labor. The moments between a husband and wife. The raw emotion. My mom was with us at the hospital while I labored. She stepped out of the room while the messy stuff was going on, but she was right there with Kam and I during the whole thing. Leading up to B day, I asked her to photograph the labor at the hospital (I was 7cm when we got there). I set my camera up for her and told her to just take pictures whenever of whatever. And I'm so glad I did.  Where and when someday my memory fails me, I will always have those photos that captured those incredible moments. Nothing yucky or "private," just the good stuff.  I would love to photograph a labor if some brave momma would let me.

And last thing, if you've managed to read this far, I updated my website. Take a look if you have time...

 I hope you're all having a wonderful weekend and spending time with someone you love. Me, I'm going to go plant a tree with my baby. Its earth day and we were given a tiny cedar tree and the grocery store this morning. And off I go...thanks for reading.

(I'll share my favorite picture of my labor with you, maybe to inspire another momma. I framed it and hung it in my bedroom. I catch myself staring at it all the time. I love this picture. I was about 8cm.)